


Finding Peace

by Kirthal



Category: Harry Potter - Fandom, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: AU, Gen, Order bashing, Werewolves, werewolf rights
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-08-17
Updated: 2013-08-17
Packaged: 2017-12-23 18:27:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/929672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kirthal/pseuds/Kirthal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post war, rights for werewolves have still not progressed. They are still second class citizens with next to no rights. Jamie could not stand the thought, especially not after the way the Order began to treat her after the way. The false promises and mistreatment became too much. At peace with her wolf, she longed for a place where she could finally belong. She may have found it on a trip into the forest.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Finding Peace

**Author's Note:**

> This story is slightly AU. There will be bashing of characters that everyone knows and loves, aka everyone considered to be a good guy in the books. I am going to try to stick to some of the more brutal and vicious nature that Fenrir was portrayed as having but there will also be a side of him that I believe could have existed. Hope you guys enjoy!

I hated this. I hated how they did not let me be, forced me to take a potion that I didn’t want to. Sure, it wasn’t the best situation but unlike Remus, I had embraced my wolf. Without the potion, the transformation wasn’t as painful. Keeping her locked away kept certain things from being released throughout my body to help numb the pain. Then there was the fact that days before and days after, without the potion, Shadow did not retaliate against me. Again, unlike Remus, because I had made my peace and worked with my wolf, I maintained myself better on the full moons. Yes, on some level there was always that instinctual, primal blood lust that came with being a werewolf. There was no getting rid of that and a part of me enjoyed the hunt. Thinking about it would send a shock of adrenaline and thrill through me. None of them understood that though. They wanted me to look down upon what I was, think lowly of myself. They wanted me to keep Shadow locked away, be in constant pain and agony. They didn’t want me utilizing what I was, who I was. For that, a deep seeded hate was blooming in me. They were fearful of me, that was what it was. They couldn’t control me like they could the others, the more weak minded and weaker bodied wizards and witches. They expected me to act like Remus so I didn’t turn into the man that they all thought of and viewed as the epitome of evil, Fenrir Greyback. 

While I had an instilled fear of Greyback, I did not hate him like the others did. There was a part of my mind that rationalized everything that he did. He was an Alpha. Alpha’s only did what was best for their pack, never purposely placing them in a dangerous situation, providing for them the best that they could. That part of my mind had always told me that he had to have a good reason to choose Voldemort. There was something beyond just the normal bigotry that he was shown amongst the magical population of Britain. The man himself was a wizard, no different than Remus. Something had shoved him in the direction that he ended up going during the war.

Now that war was over and he was out there somewhere. He was with a pack, with other werewolves. Secretly, though I would never tell a soul in Grimmauld place, I longed to belong to a pack, have a place amongst others like me. I was sick of this hiding, this denial. 

A growl escaped my throat, showing quite clearly how close Shadow was to the surface. I never kept her chained up or buried like Remus had done with Moony. She was a part of me and I refused to deny that.

“Get a hold of yourself Jamie.” I shot a deadly glare in the direction of the other werewolf. “Control yourself.” A sneer found its way to my face.

“I am quite in control of myself Remus. I don’t have to fight my wolf and hide behind others, unlike someone else that I know.”

“You don’t mean that Jamie. Just calm down and you will be better.”

“Oh please. If Remus were to man up and accept his wolf, he wouldn’t be in as much pain and the constant fight against his wolf. And may I point out that it is killing it. It is really quite pathetic. He doesn’t know how I am reacting.”

“That was uncalled for Jamie. I know exactly what you are going through. I refuse to be a monster more than I already am. This is a curse, not a gift. It is not something to be accepted with open arms.”

“News flash Lupin. They are never going to find a cure. They don’t care about us, would like to see us rounded up and slaughtered like the animals that they think we are. If it came to our lives versus that of another wizard or witch, you can guess who would be chosen, even among your so called friends. Black here would leave you to die in your wolf state.” Remus shot a look over at Black who of course shook his head. That man was a waste of a being. “Life is shit, you are a dealt a shit hand, and you deal with it. Get over your self righteousness. This is who you are and it will always be even if you don’t like it. Embrace it and save yourself the pain and the trouble.” I knew that if I didn’t leave, something in me would snap and I would be in a bad situation. The potion was sitting on a table next to me. I grabbed it and left the room before the others could admonish me. I was sick of Remus and sick of the whole situation. I needed to get away, get out. I did not want to be, quite ironically, like a caged animal. I was nothing beyond a pet to them, just like Remus.

Exiting the old house as quickly as I could, I apparated to the furthest forest from the place that was effectively my prison. The potion vial was still clutched into my hand. Growling, the peace and calm of the forest wasn’t helping me like I thought it would. I looked at the potion, eyes filled with hatred. Another feral growl escaped my lips as I hurled the potion against the closest tree there was. I was not going to take the potion, I didn’t care what the consequences were going to be. I was away from them, couldn’t have them lay the blame of someone hurt on me, and they would never know.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Fenrir watched the girl, intrigued. He could smell her wolf and clearly the girl was agitated. When she smashed the vial, his nose picked up on the smell of the Wolfsbane potion. Several times during the war, in tight situations and cornered spaces, he had nearly forced to take it. He hated the smell and what the potion represented. Seeing her smash it, his eyes widened slightly. Was she a stray that had managed to escape? Did she belong to a pack? Who was she? The fact that she didn’t want the potion, yet looked well cared for and like she had come from a rather comfortable living space only served to heighten his intrigue. It was enough to cause him to step forward.

“Someone doesn’t seem too happy.” She spun around, jumping and was in a defensive stance before he had managed his first step. He was impressed with the reaction time. She wasn’t restraining herself, which was a good sign. He could hear the low growl coming from her. She had fight in her and he liked that. It made a rather large grin come to his face. Her scent was already making his head swim. He needed to know more. “What are you doing in my woods?” Her eyes studied him and the male ego that was self contained in every male on the planet forced him to puff up a bit at her study. His subconscious was telling him that he needed to impress her. 

“For being so angry just moments ago, you are a rather quiet one. No words runt?”

“Oh Merlin…” Her voice was soft, obviously her coming to a comprehension of who he was. For a brief moment, images of her body writhing underneath his with her repeating that phrase loud along with his name came flashing through his mind. His eyes met hers. Instead of seeing eyes swimming with fear, something everyone was taken over by when confronted by his presence, only the tiniest flicker of it was running through the now amber orbs. With the full moon coming up, it was expected that their wolves be close to the surface and it was clear that she was at peace with hers. Her eyes held curiosity and admiration. She was certainly proving to be a conundrum for him. He was unsure how to handle her, something that he was not used to dealing with.

He stepped closer, hoping to garner some sort of reaction that would help point him in the right direction. He was never confused, never not sure. He did not like the feeling. She still stood defensively, though it was to a lesser extent. She didn’t trust him fully but felt some sort of level of comfort to not be ready to flee if he raised a finger. She also had not back down to respect his Alpha status. A warning growl came from deep in his chest, reminding her who she was dealing with.

She backed down slightly, but didn’t fully tuck tail between her legs. She was not going to fully recognize his alpha status. She was watching him a bit wearier now though than she did before. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I watched as he studied me, his brain race, eyes calculating. I was throwing him off, that had to be it. He wasn’t used to the reaction he was getting from me. While I felt fairly relaxed, I didn’t want to let down my guard fully. There was still no promise that he was not going to attack me. Slowly, with a precise deliberation, he circled me. I didn’t feel like a prey animal, more like a prized specimen being examined.

“I guess now the question is what to do with you now that you are here.” I wondered how far I could push the limit; I would need to test the waters to see how much rope I had before I ended up strangling myself.

“Give me shelter for the evening?”

“Why would I do something like that? Why would I endanger my pack?” I squared my shoulders as more of the Alpha was rolling off of him. Wasn’t this what I was talking about wanting? Guess it was time to own up and begin to do what I always thought or talked about.

“I mean no harm to the pack. I know that you won’t believe that by just my words but it is true.” He circled in closer and closer. There was maybe a foot in between us by now. My words were coming without giving much thought to them. It was everything that had been pent up in me for days, weeks, months, even years. “I am sick of living the way I am forced to. I am told to look down upon my wolf. Be ashamed of it. I am suppose to devalue myself for what they see as a curse. I resent them for so many reasons. I am not ashamed of who I am, of what I am. I embraced it a long time ago.” I pulled up my sleeve, revealing the half sleeve on my right arm. A beautifully artistic tattoo of a wolf rested there. Her head was coming up to curl up over my shoulder to look out behind me, watching my back.

“On more than one occasion, it has saved my life.” He studied the tattoo, eyes moving over the detail. I had made sure that it was done right before it had been done. It really was the epitome of what I was, who I was and what I had embraced in my life. “You saw me break the bottle of the Wolfsbane. If you want, you can keep me locked up, do anything you really want. I need to be away from them for a night, I need to be unchained. I need to be free.” He straightened up, pulling himself up to his full stature. The wheels in his brain were still moving, at a faster pace this time. I had laid it out on the table, at least what I could at the moment and now it was all up to what he decided was best. I knew that the pack was going to be in the deciding factor. 

“The people you left, what if they track you?”

“That would require them to actually care about me and or realize that I would be gone, which wouldn’t occur until later this evening. And at that, they assume I took the potion so they would not worry about the effects on anyone else. If that doesn’t convince you, then I figured out the tracking charm that had been placed on me when I was younger and found a way around it. Needless to say, it shows up in a location they all know I favor and know not to bother me in. It is away from anybody that I would cause harm to during the transformation.” A part of my brain screamed at me for the next action but it was a sign of at least a small amount of trust. I offered him my wand. I honestly couldn’t tell anyone if they asked what had possessed me to do it but I did it. He looked surprised, beyond surprised. I would go so far as to say that he looked a bit shocked at the offering. He took the wand none the less.

“You do realize what you are doing by giving me this?” I resisted rolling my eyes. I leveled him with a look that clearly stated I wasn’t an idiot and realized the consequences of the action. His eyes scanned over the wand with almost the same calculating gaze as he had looked me over. He quickly pointed it at me and muttered what needed to be said. I remained as stock still as I could while the spell washed over me and proved to him that there was no tracker on me. “For the night you can. Come along.” He tossed back the wand. Deftly catching it, I tucked it back in it’s place and moved along right after him.


End file.
